Where My Art Finds Me

My name is Alifia Adeila, but most people call me Aila. I am from Jakarta and now currently studying English at Politeknik Negeri Bandung. Even though my major is not art, drawing and painting are always a big part of my life. Art becomes the way I express my ideas, feelings, and memories. Every artwork I made has its own story, and each one reminds me about different moments in my life.

I started drawing since I was a little kid. One of my earliest memories was drawing together with my cousin. I liked drawing clothes, characters, animals, and many random things that I found interesting. My family also gives me a lot of inspiration. My uncle is an interior design lecturer, and he often takes me to art exhibitions and workshops. At that time, I did not really understand what the artwork meant, but I really enjoyed looking at them. My mother also inspired me because she worked in the textile and fashion industry, and she used to show me how to draw clothes. Our house was usually filled with fabric samples, clothes, and many fashion materials. Because of that, I become interested in fashion and design since I was very young.

When I grew older, drawing was not always fun. I started comparing my artworks with those created by other artists, and sometimes I feel like I was not talented enough. I keep asking myself if my artwork was good enough or not. But somehow, I always come back to drawing because it is something that I really enjoy doing. Even when I doubted myself, art always made me feel comfortable again. Even though I study English instead of fine arts, I never stop making art. Every artwork I create tells a different story. Some of them come from my imagination, while others come from my own experiences and feelings.

One of the artworks that I have made is Elsewhere. I made this painting in 2024 for my portfolio application to the Art School at the Faculty of Art and Design, Institute of Technology Bandung (FSRD ITB). I used gouache, crayons, and colored pencils to create it. I was in my last year of high school when I created this artwork.

Elsewhere is my portfolio work that I really enjoyed doing. Instead of trying to impress everyone, I decided to paint things that I really love; cats and goldfish. I have always been interested in cats and all the strange theories that people write about them on the internet.

I once read that cats may be the only creatures who never fully belong to the human world. They sleep for most of their lives as if dreaming is a more important activity than living itself. The goldfish surrounding them become less about hunger and more about the things they desire or repeatedly imagine. Perhaps cats spend their days somewhere in a place humans cannot fully understand.

Another artwork that is really important for me is Laughter and Disorder. I also created this drawing for my FSRD ITB portfolio application in 2024. The theme is about the ambience of a stand-up comedy performance featuring two teenage boys and one teenage girl performing comedic acts, while an audience consisting of children, teenagers, and adults watches the show with joyful expressions. Even though the theme looks simple and cheerful, I wanted to make something a little bit different.

At first, people probably only see the audience laughing and enjoying the performance. But if they look more carefully, they can find birds flying away and playing cards floating around the scene. Those small details represent that not everything is always perfect, even during happy moments. I always like making an artwork that looks normal at first, but has something hidden inside it. While making this drawing, I was excited because I wanted to enter art school, but at the same time I was also afraid that my work was not good enough. I spent many nights finishing this drawing while keeping asking myself if it was enough. Looking back now, I think this artwork shows both my excitement and my anxiety at the same time.

The last artwork is Kaia and Makoa, the official mascots for Annual English Competition Polban (AECP) 7.0. I created these mascots after I became an English student at Polban in 2025. The two scarlet macaws were inspired by the adventure of Jumanji and the journey of learning English. I wanted the mascots to encourage students to be brave when they are learning something new.

For me, Kaia represents creativity, balance, and always wanting to learn more, while Makoa represents courage, determination, and perseverance. Designing these mascots also made me realize something about myself. I did not become an art student like I planned before, but I learned that everyone has different journeys. Sometimes, life takes us somewhere we never expected, and that is okay. Perhaps learning is also like these mascots, because it is less about finding the only path and more about accepting that nobody truly has a “one way map” towards their destination.

Looking back at my journey, I realize that art has always been more than just a hobby for me. It has become one of the ways for me to be honest with myself. Art lets my thoughts, fears, and imagination come together in ways that words sometimes cannot express. Every piece I have created reflects a different version of who I was at that moment, from a child who simply loved drawing, to someone who struggled with self-doubt, and eventually to someone who is learning to accept the learning process.

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